inglouriously: (Frenchie: Blowin bubblez)
2016-08-10 04:21 pm
Entry tags:


thank you so much for considering me!

SKETCH: (one or two colors, no shading)
BUST: $8

BUST: $10 / $15
WAIST-UP: $12 / $17
FULL BODY: $15 / $20

BUST: $15 / $20
WAIST-UP: $17 / $22
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BUST: $20 / $25
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Please direct all inquiries to ''. Payment is accepted via Paypal or Squarecash, i will give you instructions once we have discussed your commission and agreed on your final price. I will be accepting 5 slots at a time to begin with; if slots are full, i will gladly e-mail you when one frees up.

Please include a brief description of what you would like me to draw, including references, in your email. I will provide you with one preview sketch, and once that is approved, i will proceed with the final drawing. After the final is submitted, you may request one round of small changes if there is something you want changed.

I prefer not to draw the following: heavy gore, mecha, architecture, inflation/excessive bodily fluids/animal porn. General NSFW is fine!

inglouriously: (Default)
2016-06-28 12:32 pm

after the dust settles | for megan

Rebuilding a life in the aftermath of everything is difficult in thought, and even more so in practice. Porrim learns this the hard way when, after the downfall of the Capitol, the economy ceases to exist. All her Assi, millions of numbers stored away in a digital account in the ether of the Capitol’s networks, gone, or rather obsolete. For the first time in her life, Porrim Maryam is penniless, familyless. Her father was shot by rebel forces, her mother and sister killed in a bombing.

For the first time, she’s alone. Even among the other survivors, she doesn’t fit. She never struggled in her life before this war, and most of her fellow soldiers still mistrust her. Still stare, still whisper behind her back.

The only one who doesn’t, it seems like, is Nick.

She’d never really considered that maybe he was serious about sticking around, sticking together after the war. She figured maybe he would fuck off somewhere else. Not his home; that place is even more fucked than Panem, from what she understands. But that he’d go off and do his own thing.

Not this. She didn’t expect this.

Her apartment was spared in all the bombing and shooting, somehow; she stays there for now out of a lack of anything better to do, and Nick stays, she supposes out of the same reason. They love each other; it’s not a question of that. It’s a question of whether or not they’re good for each other.

She’s a smart woman; she’s never needed to rely on her looks or her body to get by. She’s the daughter of a scientist; she had plenty of education. She finds work, just for now, helping the new government build up its tech, and that pays her enough to get by. Nick…he does what he does. She’s learned it’s better not to ask, if she doesn’t want to hear the dirty truth.

Porrim comes home late from the lab, exhausted, her hair pulled back, lab coat still hanging from her shoulders. She didn’t bother taking it off before she left, and doesn’t bother until she’s standing in the middle of her sitting room; she lets it drop to the floor, toes off her shoes, drops her bag on a chair. It’s late; her hours seem to grow longer by the day, and often she doesn’t finish until well after midnight. When she crawls into bed next to Nick, teeth hastily brushed and her clothes stripped off, she doesn’t bother trying to sneak. He’s already awake, eyes sleepy but watchful from where he’s curled up in her big king-sized bed.

“Hey,” she breathes, sliding in next to him, brushing lips against his forehead.

“Hey yourself,” he says, voice a little thick with sleep, and wraps a big arm around her. She’s thinner than she used to be, but harder too—less lush curves and more lean muscle, something she’s had time to make peace with. Porrim curls into his side, letting herself be pulled close into his warmth, and hums into his shoulder. “Have a nice day?” It’s more of a pleasantry than a real question, but she’s glad when he nods into the side of her head anyway.

She doesn’t mean to start a conversation, really; it’s been at the back of her mind for days, and she’d be content to keep it that way, except his fingers brush over the scars on her stomach, the ones where Thirteen’s doctors had removed sacred parts of her to save her life. It makes her think for the thousandth time how much differently her life has gone from the way she’d always imagined it, and her hand moves to cover his hand, not to pull it away but to keep it there.

“You still okay with what we talked about before?” she asks, before she can hold herself back. “With maybe—staying together? Marrying me?”

He’s silent for just a moment, before he makes a sound that Porrim is startled to realize is laughter; she pulls back her head in confusion. “Sweetheart,” he chuckles, “for one of the most gorgeous-looking girls I’ve seen, you sure have low self-esteem.”

Porrim purses her lips, shoving at his shoulder. “Shut up. I don’t want to make assumptions, alright? People change…maybe you were just talking out of your ass.” Maybe he was just saying what she wanted to hear. It happens. She’s prepared herself for that possibility.

He surprises her by flipping her back onto the pillow, framing her shoulders with his arms, smirking down at her. “Give me some credit,” he says. “I might be a piece of shit, but I don’t mince words. I wouldn’t have said all that shit if I hadn’t meant it.”

She stares up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “You know I can’t ever give you smug little kids, right?”

Nick snorts, leaning on one arm so he can trace a thumb across the scar on her stomach again. “Yeah, I’m well aware. I don’t want anyone but you calling me ‘daddy’ anyway, sugar.”

Porrim makes an indignant noise, trying and failing to squirm out from underneath him. She might be strong, but he’s got her in size. “You’re disgusting.”

“Love you too, cupcake,” he chuckles, leaning down to kiss her again. “And yeah. Let’s do it right.”
inglouriously: (Default)
2014-02-01 03:35 pm

Let me send you cookies

i'm going to make a whole bunch of shortbread cookies and
i want to send them to you lovely people.
leave me your address below and prepare to receive some earl-grey flavored bites of heaven in the mail! ♡
inglouriously: (Shut up with your tiny dick)
2014-01-26 10:23 am
Entry tags:

is it clever? why is it clever?

it's been almost two years since i've updated, and that's kind of crazy.

i'm definitely happier than i was two years ago. but for right now, i feel a bit...useless. i'm trying to get a promotion at target but i'm scared i've screwed it all up, and then that has me wondering if maybe it's a sign i should be trying to find a better job. i shouldn't be settling. i should try harder to get something out of my degree.

my plan was to be a tattoo artist, but i'm such a chickenshit that i don't even know where to begin. i feel like i'd be laughed out of every studio i went into looking for an apprenticeship. i can barely afford my rent and bills as is, i don' know how i'd function when an unpaid apprenticeship would be taking up most of my time.

i could always go to grad school, but that would just be stalling for time and racking up more debt.

i dunno. i have a headache.
inglouriously: (Melanie nip slip~)
2012-01-19 07:16 pm
Entry tags:

fic: raspberry

It starts off innocently enough. They're having a companionable tea together, enjoying each others' presence over hot tea and fresh toast. Shoshanna reaches for the jar of raspberry jam the servants included on the tea tray, intending to spread it over her already buttered toast, dipping the butter knife in and pulling it back out covered in a gob of deep red preserves.

It's when the knife is on its way to the toast when it happens: a gob of jam slides off and lands on the side of her hand, in the expanse of skin between her thumb and forefinger. Scoffing, annoyed, Shoshanna wipes some of it away onto the bread, but there's still a stark red smear against her skin.

And before she can do anything about it, Kurama's reached out and snatched her wrist, bringing her hand to his mouth and cleaning away the jam with one quick swipe of his tongue. She stares at him, unable to stop the parting of her lips or the quick, quiet exhale of breath. And for a long moment they remain that way, looking at each other. Really, it's more that they're sizing each other up, like they're going to have a fight, but they both know better than that.

"I see."


Kurama nods. And tugs on her wrist, pulling her until she comes around to his side of the little table, perches in his lap. She's in a dress reminiscent of her own time, low, square-cut neckline with pearl buttons all down the front. It's the work of a few seconds for his long fingers to undo the top four buttons, opening her dress to expose the steady rise and fall of her chest. He falls upon her, lips hungry against her shoulder, clavicle, between her breasts. Gasping, she's gasping for air, and it's mostly because this is so unexpected. They were just having tea, and now he's swiping a thumb below the lace of her bra, inciting shivers all down her spine.

What's really unexpected, though, is that he reaches out, dips his index finger into the jam jar, and then smears it across her collarbone. The cold is a shock, but it's nothing to the warm tongue licking it away with utmost care. Shoshanna's chin tilts upward, allowing herself to relax into the sensation.

He kisses down her chest, pulling the flimsy lace of her bra completely down and away from her breast, doing such delicious things to it that she thinks she might forget how to breathe. This time she's ready for it, the long finger smearing sticky sweet jam across the stiff nipple and goosefleshed skin. She whimpers when he wraps his lips around it, suckling away every last bit; her fingers have long since wound into strands of red hair, and they don't loosen until he surfaces, giving her a wolfish grin that leaves her squirming in his lap.

"Your tea is getting cold."

"Yes, of-of course."
inglouriously: (Default)
2012-01-12 02:44 am

oh yeah

I forgot to, you know, make an entry.

So this is me. I am Jo. My LJ was [profile] joisaverage but this is a far better username so there.

Aaaand updates will be sporadic but I think that's pretty much the norm nowadays.

SO YEAH stuff.
inglouriously: (Melanie nip slip~)
2011-12-25 02:16 am
Entry tags:

Some Christmas fic.

Not Christmas-themed, but a present all the same for [personal profile] lady_flamewing. ♥

She may have been a little over her head this time. )
inglouriously: (Mélanie: Wake up!)
2011-08-26 12:14 am


The city of Paris was only just waking up, stretching and yawning and breaking its fast like it would on any other day. Morning, at least, was something the Gestapo could not control.

Shoshanna Dreyfus did not rise.

She never went to sleep.

Instead, she stood by the window by turns, sometimes breaking away, to turn, to watch Marcel where he lay sprawled across the bed they shared. His sleep undisturbed, his breathing even, his bare chest shimmering dully in the half-light, rising and falling like the tide.

Instead, she paced the empty lobby, already draped in swastikas. already filled with filth.

(She had wanted to spit out the bitter taste in her mouth as they had hung the bunting, the banners; she had refrained. It wouldn't do. She must wait. She chewed the soft flesh of her lip instead, trying to appear blank, clueless.)

Instead, she drank a glass of something without taste. Whether wine or water, she had no recollection. It didn't matter. And so, at dawn, when the rest of Paris was waking up, Shoshanna collapsed into her bed, cheek pressed into the cool pillow, curled up atop the sheet.

Tonight she must burn everything. Burn herself, burn Marcel, burn the life out of those bastards. The Nazi swine who would swarm into her cinema.

It was like burning bridges to light the way.
inglouriously: (Mélanie: So lovely.)
2011-08-18 05:39 pm
Entry tags:

fanmix time!

So I never make fanmixes anymore??? So I made a fanmix.

medium RP
fandom Inglourious Basterds / Yu Yu Hakusho
subject Kurama / Shoshanna
title Love So Quiet

sometimes your love is so quiet I don't even need to speak )
inglouriously: (Default)
2011-06-15 01:44 pm
Entry tags:
inglouriously: (Hans Landa: my pipe brings all the boys)
2011-06-08 12:09 am
Entry tags:

drabbles and things

1. Hans Landa - Stars and Boulevards - Augustana

Sometimes, he wondered whether this was all worth it. The coercion, the lies, the smiling, gregarious facade behind which lurked a monster of the worst kind. The people he had killed, the heinous acts he'd committed—and he felt nothing. No remorse, no guilt, not a hint of emotion. At times, he thought he might have even enjoyed some of it. But in the end, Hans Landa would always be numb. In that respect, he was probably perfectly suited to the career path he'd chosen.

With that thought in his mind, comforting though his mind required no comfort, he raised the pistol, resting the cold barrel to the temple of the man he'd been ordered to kill, and pulled the trigger. Landa smiled.

2. Audrey and Pavel - Miley Cyrus - Can't Be Tamed

"Pavel, maybe you should just—oh, sod it." Her coworker was already beyond earshot, especially considering how crowded the pub (bar) already was. Why she had agreed to accompany him to Boston for St. Patrick's Day was beyond her, especially since she wasn't even of age to drink in the States, something dear Pavel had conveniently neglected to tell her.

Her hulking, hairy compadre was already in the middle of a throng of very drunk women, making a complete drunken arse out of himself. At least he looked like he was enjoying himself. There was a loud smack, and Audrey winced. "Smooth, Pavel," she called, laughing at the sight of him rubbing his very red cheek.

3. 19th century Evie and Edgar - Sunday Best - Augustana

Edgar Hunt—Lord Hunt, he supposed he was now—had a very important errand to attend to today, and it was with a quietly nervous demeanor that he gave his name to the Hollingsberrys' man at the door. As he was led to Lord Hugo's drawing-room, he removed his black top hat, if nothing else for the luxury of having his hands occupied. He did hate to be seen fidgeting.

Half an hour later, and the quiet young lord emerged, looking faintly triumphant. A light tripping of slippers against plush carpet drew his attention, and he was somehow unsurprised to see the youngest Hollingsberry and the object of his affections drawing nearer, a curious look on her face. "Lord Edgar, what brings you to my family's home today?"

Edgar smiled faintly and bowed low. "Lady Evelyn." Straightening, he studied her for a moment, trying to decide how best to go about this, before offering his arm. "Would you do me the pleasure of a turn about the garden?" Now came the difficult part.
inglouriously: (John Simm: Oh my god that mouth)
2011-01-24 12:25 pm
Entry tags:

in which Jo writes smutty things while drunk


"I don't normally do this." Edgar felt it imperative to let her know this. That he wasn't one of those men, only looking for what lay between a woman's legs, beneath her clothing. In fact, quite the opposite. He never did. But now, with this heat between them, with what they had been building toward for weeks and months, here he was, breathless, heart pounding in his chest. He knew what he was doing now, at least, and for that he was grateful. But that didn't make him any less nervous that he would do something wrong, cross some social border he hadn't known existed.

"I understand." Her words were breathless, probably due to the fact that his fingers hovered mere millimeters from her bare breasts. Edgar pushed past his constant demureness to study her naked form, the generous flesh of her breasts. They were lovely, soft and beautiful, everything that breasts should be, and tentatively his fingers advanced to circle one nipple slowly. He took the time to appreciate the soft pink of it, standing out against her porcelain flesh, and he let out a quite groan as the skin tightened between his large fingers. More than anything, knowing that he was inciting such a reaction in Elsa was the most satisfying thing to him. His head dipped, the mouth that was strangely poetic on such a masculine face and large frame brushing against the velvety skin softly. His well-tailored trousers were much more snug now, for as much of a gentleman as Edgar was, he couldn't help but become aroused by this.

Their lovemaking was slow, languid, beautiful. Edgar placed a gentle kiss against Elsa's forehead when it was done, and he had rolled to the side. The bright blue eyes studied the strands of flame-red hair between his fingers for a moment, before falling shut with a heavy sigh. There was no guilt now, now remorse for what had transpired between them. It had been right.


"I thought we could try out my Christmas present, non?"

His grin had merely widened, deliciously predatory, at the words. She had been waiting for him in his bedroom when he'd arrived home, dressed in nothing but a black bustier and matching panties, lacy stockings held up with a coordinating garter belt, and the handcuffs dangling from two long fingers as she stretched out on her side across his bed.

And now here she was, wrists detained above her head by the cold metal which clanged against the metal of his headboard as she squirmed beneath his lips. Her lips parted slightly but no noise but the rush of air into her lungs escaped as his tongue glided along the curve of her breast, deliciously rounded above silk and steel tightly bound against her flesh. His fingers pressed into her hipbones, delving beneath the silk of her panties without hesitation. She murmured hasty words of enouragement, not that Jean needed them.

Moments later, the scrap of black silk was being tugged aside, not down, and his lips met with her most sensitive flesh, tongue darting out to taste her, and now a cry did echo from the very depths of her throat.

"I could do anything I liked to you right now," he murmured, face still bured between Léonie's legs, his voice delicious and rough even as the words came out as a purr. "Anything at all, and you couldn't do a thing to stop me." As if she would want to. Instead, her hips jerked upward, and Jean obliged her happily, content to let her have her way.

For now.
inglouriously: (Ten: I've read this fic)
2010-11-10 06:02 pm

Business and Pleasure

 So...I wrote a thingy. It's smutty. You have been warned.

WHO: Jean-Baptiste Girard and Léonie Lefébvre
WHAT: Doin' stuuuff.
WHERE: Jean's apartment
WHEN: Sometime in the near past, I would imagine.
WARNINGS: Sexy tiems. Also, possibly sketchy French. Sorry.

Je te veux. )

inglouriously: (Jude Law)
2010-03-26 11:35 am
Entry tags:

57 Jude Law Icons (mothafucka)

If you use:
-Credit [ profile] joisaverage 
-Comments and adds are lovely~
-No hotlinking, plz.
-Textless =/= base

Jude Law,Icons Jude Law,Icons Jude Law,Icons
moar hotness )
inglouriously: (Default)
2010-01-21 08:52 pm

Looking for magic?

Check it out.
inglouriously: (most ardently)
2010-01-15 12:39 am

Short little baby story

Who: Edgar Hunt
What: Brooding, what else?
Where: Wales
When: 1994, immediately following
Warnings: Moping.

Normally after yet another long, relatively uneventful day at the office, Edgar would go home, make himself dinner, and kick back with a good book. Tonight, however, was a different story. No, you're passing your prime. )
inglouriously: (Hanky Panky)
2010-01-07 11:51 pm
Entry tags:

Do I even have a choice?

Choose twelve of your original characters, in any particular order. Then, answer the questions that follow, but DON'T LOOK AT THE QUESTIONS BEFORE YOU PICK THE CHARACTERS!

1. Chanella
2. Cordelia
3. Georgia
4. Edgar
5. Catalina
6. Aimée
7. Bernadette
8. Lourdes
9. Ingrid
10. Lillian
11. Federica
12. Coheed


meme madness )